Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Gosh darn it

Some people in our family need to work on their language.

After the kid and hubby spent over 8-hours playing Skylanders yesterday I limited their playtime today. While kid and hubby ran over the Walmart the kid asked hubby if they could play a little more Skylanders today, "I think Mommy will let me since I did a s-h-i-t-l-o-a-d of reading today.


I suppose I should be happy that she spelled it out instead of just saying it. And she spelled it correctly. I would have preferred if she's used a different word, such as, lot.


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Boy friend or boyfriend?

The kid is seven. She's already had several boyfriends and future husbands.

But this latest one she hasn't declared as her boyfriend.  During the school lockdown drill today, she told me, she lay with her head in his lap and he stroked her hair. Have I mentioned they are both seven? And she isn't being very forthcoming about him being her new beau. But this is the first time I've heard of any physical displays of affection. Should I be worried?

BTW, I'd love to go the all day Scrapbooking event on January 21 at Scrapbook Queens.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

He has a voice

So, Hubby has decided to get himself a blog.

Now it is a race to see who can post a story first. This will be very helpful when I scrapbook!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Mouse tails

There is a mouse in the house again. At least there was.

My dear husband realized that it was back when the dishwasher started leaking again. Another hint was the cats increased interest in the kitchen. Turns out that the dishwasher hasn't been molested by mouse again. So, I thought maybe he was mistaken about a mouse.

He wasn't.

I went to clean the deep fryer (we have one to make Tempura with after I burnt myself). Opened it up and shrieked. Yup. Poor mouse drowned in gross chicken-flavoured oil. OMG!

The cats are fired.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

"Talent" runs in the family

The kid has been feeling every spare moment lately with song. There are many things that she is fabulous at. Sadly, singing is not one of them.

Although I think she is a better singer than her mother.

In grade 5, my school put on a production of Anne of Green Gables. I got the part of one of the school children. According to my mom they wanted to give me a bigger role but decided against it because I'd recently been diagnosed with Crohn's disease and had been rather ill. So, they gave me one of Anne's lines to sing instead.

And then, they took it back because I just couldn't sing it on key. So, Anne got to keep all her lines. And nobody had to cover their ears.

Monday, December 5, 2011


Yesterday, the kid announced to me that she is "very particular about her clothing". I asked her to elaborate and she did. Oh, how she did.

You see, the kid likes her clothes to come from specific stores. Nice stores. Stores like Justice, Bonnie Togs and Walmart. Apparently she sometimes likes clothes from Zellers. Somehow Gymboree and The Children's Place didn't warrant a mention.

Sunday, December 4, 2011


Today while the kid and I were running errands we drove past a Red Lobster. That used to be her favourite restaurant so of course she starting chatting about it

Kid: Red Lobster isn`t exactly my favourite anymore. I like nice, fancy restaurants

I`m perplexed and so I ask her to give me some examples of nice, fancy restaurants. The fanciest restaurant she has been to (other than a really nice restaurant my aunt took us to in Texas when kid was 3 or 4).

Here are a few fancy restaurants according to the kid (not in any particular order):
  1.  The Keg - okay, I can get behind that since they have low lightening and she usually only goes there on special occasions
  2. Lone Star Texas Grill -They have all-you-can-eat fajitas. That totally screams "fancy" to me.
  3. Jack Astor's - Classy is when the wait staff write on your table - in crayon!
  4. Swiss Chalet - yes, they deliver. And their marketing often revolves around being "good value" and a "family restaurant"
  5. The Melting Pot - she insists this is her favourite restaurant but she never eats anything except the bread.
  6. Outback Steakhouse - Bloomin' Onion. Need I say more?
Regular old restaurants seem include
  1. McDonald's - home of the Happy Meal
  2. Bob Evans - breakfast for dinner or lunch or breakfast!
  3. Red Lobster
 So, there you go. Take your date to McDonald's - it's cheaper and according to the kid, it is the same as a trip to Red Lobster. Sigh!

Great wake up call

Fast asleep on Sunday morning when the kid yells, "I was just going to the bathroom and the cat was in the bathtub and she just randomly hissed at me."

Not really sure why I need to be told these things. This cat hisses a lot. Heck, sometimes I wish I could hiss at the kid because she doesn't really consider that her actions can hurt others. Poor cat was probably trying to make sure the kid didn't try and pick her up. Or turn on the bathtub. Of course, this particular cat is evil so she may have just been randomly hissing. But we're all used to it and I don't want to hear about it at 6 or 7 am.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

When the shoe fits...

During a big temper tantrum

Mommy: Kid, please stop. You look like a nutbar!

(kid pauses her tears and general tantrum throwing)
Kid: I'm not a nutbar. A nutbar is a bar with nuts. I don't look like that.

Mommy: What do you look like.

Kid: A boogerface.

A pretty accurate description. Sigh.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Homework just for the sake of homework?

The kid hasn't had much homework since starting grade 2.

This week her class was informed that they have to do home reading every night. I don't have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is that the books are nowhere near her reading level. And, according to her, it has to be a book from the classroom library. Not the school library (her school goes to grade eight.)

I realize that this is just the perspective of a 7-year-old. However, earlier this month I had to ask the teacher why the kid wasn't allowed to get two "big kid" books at the library. Kid was being restricted to one "baby" book and one "real" book. That was resolved but I think even the kid is getting annoyed with the uphill battle to get her appropriate reading materials. I get that some kids don't like reading. Mine does like reading. At least she does when she is reading something she is interested in. The adventures of Frog and Toad doesn't do it for she who has read the whole Harry Potter series - solo. She will read nightly regardless of whether her teacher tells her to or not.

Tomorrow is parent-teacher-student conference night. So hopefully everything will be resolved. It seems that it would be wiser for the kid to be reading a book like 39 clues or Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief each week than five early reader books.

Monday, November 14, 2011

My "almost" hospitalization

When I was in grade 6, my Crohn's Disease flared up and I ended up in the hospital for a week. It was terribly boring and I was very happy to come home.

Less than a week later my parents brought me back to the hospital. They were in the process of admitting me when the results of an X-ray came back. A room had been found. I had an IV. I think they were just waiting on an orderly to transfer me from Emergency to the ward.

Turns out I was constipated.

Yup. They sent us home and told my mom to buy Castor Oil. True story.

I guess it would sound less crazy if I added that it was a direct side effect of the medications they'd put me on in the hospital. It was a pretty severe case of constipation too. They showed me the X-ray; I swear there was "stuff" in the small intestine.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

"Sibling" rivalry

The kid recently started annoying our nice cat. She keeps picking the cat up and trying to cart her around. Sera just takes it. For the most part. But she does complain a bit. We'll hear the cat start meowing and then tell the kid to "leave the cat alone" and "put Sera down!"

"But she likes it!" insists the kid.

"No. No, she really doesn't!" we counter.

And for some reason the kid is surprised that we always know when she is annoying the cat. The little screeches of protest are a dead giveaway. I'm just wondering if Miss. Sera is going to ever realize that she can get the kid in trouble by just randomly crying. And I wouldn't put it past her.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Happy Birthday to me!

I'm 34 today.

I think.

My Mom called and told me that she felt much better today then she did 35 years ago. It seems she forgot how old I really am.

I'm pretty sure that my birth certificate is accurate. That gives me one more year in the 25-34 year-old age category!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Which came first...

"Which came first? The chicken or the egg?"

The kid posed that question to me the other day while we were in the car. She actually didn't give me a chance to answer before she informed me it must be the egg.

"Most of the other kids in my class said chicken. But they're wrong."

I don't think she'll be a philosopher.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Life Skills

I took keyboarding in grade 9. It was supposed to teach me touch typing. It didn't. But I can type quite quickly now. So, what happened?

The Internet.

When I was in my last year of high school, I discovered the World Wide Web. And chat sites. They looked nothing like they do now though. But, if you wanted to "talk" to people you had to type quickly. Sadly, most of the people I was talking to were my high school friends. I'm not sure why we didn't just pick up the phone. I'm glad things played out the way they did because now I have mad keyboarding skills. ;D

Sunday, October 16, 2011

What do you mean by that?

The kid is going through another phase. And it is driving me batty. It seems as though every time I say something to her she responds by saying, "What do you mean by that?" And most of the time I have no idea how she couldn't understand what I mean.

Me: "Please let the cat out."
Kid: "What do you mean by that?"

Me: "I don't think you can have a friend come over today."
Kid: "What do you mean by that?"

Me: "Eat you dinner."
Kid: "What do you mean by that?"

Me: "Go the bathroom before we go out."
Kid: "What do you mean by that?"

I wish I was exaggerating. I really do.

Monday, October 3, 2011

The prophecy

The kid is not having the best of days today. Neither am I.

I will admit that since I am recovering from a vicious strain of the flu I am not on the top of my mom game. Let's face it - I am tired, cranky and I feel like crap.

But that doesn't mean the kid can do whatever she wants.

  • fooling around on the stairs
  • throwing her dirty laundry in the closet instead of in the laundry bin right next to the closet - seriously it took more effort to throw the clothes in there than in the bin
  • not turning her music off after she was told to when her music "kept distracting her" from the onerous task of putting on her pjs
She did a few other things that were rude and against the house rules.

And as we tucked us in she informed us that she "knew since aftercare that it was going to be a bad night because that is what her fortune said." Uh huh. And she had nothing to do with it.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I am a sucker

The kid is a Beaver this year. Next year she can be a cub scout. One of my oldest friends, Scouter Sunshine, from high school is a leader. Since the kid is a big fan of Scouter Sunshine's son and she has a big interest in camping so I signed her up. And I signed up to be a leader at Sunshine's encouragement.

Today I got my police check back saying it was okay for me to work with kids. I told the kid and explained that volunteers have to have checks to make sure they aren't going to hurt any of the kids. Her immediate response, "Well, that really doesn't help if the person hasn't done anything yet but plans on doing something."

Why does my child immediately jump to the worst case scenario?

Incidentally, the kids decided I would be named Scouter Rainbow. Although the tiebreaker child tried to switch his vote to Bubbles after my name had been chosen.

Friday, September 16, 2011

I am still alive...

I just haven't had much to say. I've been pretty busy at work and, frankly, I just keep forgetting to blog.

Yesterday, one of my Facebook friends mentioned this amazing blog - You are not a photographer. Apparently I am a fauxtographer. I have a nice camera but I am not a professional. Although I was paid to take wedding photos once - they asked me. And I made sure they got their money's worth via a fancy scrapbook.

Today my old boss asked me if I wanted to be a guest at her wedding or her paid photographer. I think I'm going to go as a guest although I will take lots of pictures! And I think it is safe to say she will be getting a fancy scrapbook as a wedding present (I'm pretty sure that's what she really wants anyway!) I took the pictures at her wedding 9 years ago. They were pretty bad but at least I wasn't paid!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Really, Walmart?

On Friday we went to the cottage. Just for the day so we could see my Grandma, Aunt and Cousin. They were only there for a couple of days so it was the only time we could see them.

We left our house at 7am. The kid complained that she had a bit of a headache but I thought she was just tired. Apparently it was a migraine. An hour or so in to our trip, she threw up. So, we stopped at a Walmart to get medicine (could only get Tylenol because the Gravol was locked up until 9) and stuff to clean up the mess. As we checked out, I asked for a couple of extra bags.

"No, it's against our policy."

As you can imagine, I saw red. "Really? She's throwing up! I need something for her to be sick in. Can I at least buy some bags?"

"No, it's against our policy. But, I guess I can give you one."

Yes, I could have run through the store (set up differently from our Walmart) to try and find garbage bags or something but, you don't really want to do that when you're dealing with Little Miss Pukey Pants.

I did stop the greeter and express my displeasure at this policy. He gave me quite a few bags because of the situation, but I was still a bit annoyed. I won't be visiting that Walmart again.

Luckily the kid ended up okay for the rest of the trip. It seems she has inherited our migraines.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Babies, just another type of animal

"Babies aren't my favourite kind of animal." stated the kid to her paternal grandma. She was referring to her 11-month-old cousin, E.

This was a couple of hours after my father explained to us that the kid sees life as black and white or rather - favourite and not favourite.

Is she hated something, like Key Lime Pie, she would push it away and tell him, "This is not my favourite." Or, in other words, "I'm not eating this horrible stuff!"

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Yesterday the kid came home. She was full of stories about the cottage. And the drive home. It seems she was really, really thirsty.
Kid: "So thirsty, I drank a whole bottle of KFC!"

Me: "Pardon?"

Kid: "A whole bottle! Can you believe it?"

Me: "A bottle of what?"

Kid: "KFC rootbeer."

Me: "Oh! A&W rootbeer."
And yet I still don't have any grey hairs.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sink or Swim

Last week the kid took swimming lessons at the cottage. The instructor was a family member, S. The kid loves S! Or did until swimming lessons.


Because S made her actually swim!

On Monday things were okay. The kid was pumped to get S as an instructor.

On Tuesday, the kid called us to complain and whine. Darn S made the kid swim towards her! And kid couldn't touch the bottom! Yeah, we weren't very sympathetic.

More of the same on Wednesday. Except this time S made the kid swim even more and the kid ended up eating seaweed (according to the kid). "I don't like swimming in the lake!" Once again, we, the parents, told her that we agreed with S. The kid needs to practice swimming so that if there is ever a crisis she can stay alive. "But, I'll have my life jacket if I'm in the boat!"

Thursday was better. The kid swam underwater and grabbed at S's legs while helping the other kids. Apparently, swimming is okay if you are being a holligan.

Friday was even more fun. They played games. And swam - a lot.


Friday, August 12, 2011

Poor Grandpa

My dad has had the pleasure of the kid's company at the cottage for another week.

They come home tomorrow.

We've talked to her, in depth, every day. Sometimes several times.

Tonight she asked me about her "electronics" meaning her Nintendo DS and (used, old) ipod. She never checked her knapsack. Which means my poor father hasn't had a break all week! Except for her swimming lessons but I think they caused more chatter.

Now I totally understand why he said he'd drop her off "as early as possible" tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I shouldn't be surprised

The kid's vocabulary shouldn't surprise me, but it does. While she was playing a video game she told me: "The monster book keeps obliterating us!"


It seems her father didn't use that descriptive word first. It seems that the little sponge is actually learning all the words she reads. I just didn't expect them to appear in our day-to-day interactions all the time.

Why use "beating" or "destroying" when you can use "obliterate".

Monday, August 1, 2011

Who would you love best?

Further adventures in trying to get the kid to sleep.
Kid: If you had 10 more kids what would you name them?
Me: At most I'd have 2 kids.
Kid: What would you name the other one?
Me: Alex.
Kid: Who would you love best.
Me: I'd love you the same.
Kid: I mean really. Who would you love best?
Me: You (I'm exasperated at this point)
Kid: What about Alex?
Me: Well Alex would be a jerk so we wouldn't like him or her.
Kid: Yeah, she'd break my stuff or he'd poop everywhere.
Me: Exactly. And that's why we're only having one.

God help us if we ever receive a surprise.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Sticky Fingers

Yesterday my 10-month-old nephew came to visit for the day After the kid got over the green eyed monster we had a lot of fun. Much later, after they had gone home and the kid should have been fast asleep we had the oddest conversation. She was complaining about how E gets lots and lots and lots and lots of attention, etc... I explained that babies do get a little more attention - mainly because we have to make sure they don't get themselves killed. That wasn't the weird part.
Kid: Babies have really sticky hands and feet. That means that they can climb the wall and even sit on the ceiling.
Me: Really?
Kid: Really!
Me: And where did you hear that?
Kid: I just know. Because when I was playing with him I touched his fingers and feet and they were really, really sticky?
Me: Couldn't that have been drool?
Thank goodness we're not having more kids! I don't think she could handle the "competition".

Saturday, July 30, 2011

And now we wait

I pulled out my old phone today and called up my cell phone company. Told them to ditch the data plan and reactivate my old phone.

I wonder how long it will be before they offer me a smart phone package? I've decided to wait until the iphone5 is released to replace my awol iphone. It seemed silly to get a new one when the prices will likely drop in 40 or so days!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Dumb arse

So, I lost my iphone a couple of days ago. I suspect I dropped it at a store and it got pocketed by someone. I assume it is in someone else has it now because it has been turned off and there was lots of juice on the phone when I misplaced it. It's pretty hard to accidentally turn off the iphone.

I'm making my peace with this but the kid is not helping.

Yesterday she decided to play a trick on me and say, "I have your iphone, it is in my bookcase!" I don't know why she thought that would be funny. It really wasn't. And she can be a very convincing liar it seems. I'm not impressed. I think that may have finally gotten through to her. But hopefully it will convince hubby that playing "tricks" on the kid is not setting a good influence.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Math matters

Today it became very clear to me how important basic math skills. I already knew it but this experience really highlighted it.

Let me preface this with an explanation that math has never been my best subject. I took every math class twice in high school. I only failed once but I retook the classes so that I'd actually learn the concepts. I even took Calculus twice in university for that same reason. I barely passed the first time and I took it again and got a B+.

I don't use that much math in real life but I do add, subtract, calculate percentages and work out sales tax on a regular basis.

This morning I stopped at Walmart to get an item price matched. The Real Canadian Superstore (RCSS) is selling Xbox cards for $15 instead of $20 this week. This weekend they also offered no tax on everything in the store. The manager of the electronics section at Walmart helped me this morning. It took forever to get her to realize that no, the item is on sale for $15 - I don't save $5 from not paying the tax. That was wrong on several points:
  1. No tax on gift cards - ever. Hence, the RCSS  tax free savings didn't even apply to this item.
  2. Sales tax is 13% in Ontario. On a $20 item that would be $2.60. Not $5. The ad even specified that the item was on sale for $15 instead of $20 - a $5 savings!
She ended up calling over the store manager who looked at her like she had 3 heads and promptly told her to price match the $20 item for $15

Sunday, July 24, 2011


I've been doing some scrapbooking and I came across this bit of writing from 2009. Kid would have been 4 and a half at the time.

Something I thought wouldn’t happen for many more years (or even, hopefully, never) is the kid staggering around the house saying “I’m drunk! I’m drunk!”

Sadly, this actually happened and it took a long time to figure it out. Seeing as neither of us drink and we certainly don’t walk around saying, “I’m drunk.” We figure Pirates of the Caribbean – either the movie or the ride – was responsible. That or a grandparent.
And the funny thing is - we still aren't sure of the origin of her "drunkeness!"

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Stinky Pete

When I was little I would spend the summer at the cottage with my grandparents. I would see my parents on the weekends when they came up.

On one occasion my dad was horrified by my smell. I think I was 7 or 8. Grandma hadn't made me bathe all week because I'd spent so much time swimming. Her sense of smell isn't that great.

Imagine my laughter on discovering that my kid, who has also been up at the cottage all week with Grandpa, has also not bathed for a week! Luckily she doesn't smell that bad. Despite sleeping with the big stinky dog most nights.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Canoes are awesome!

The kid is quite obsessed with canoes now. Crazy obsessed.

So obsessed that she thought a trip to the canoe museum with Grandpa was "beyond awesome!"

And incidentally when someone refers to Robin I'm no longer to think of my university roommate first. That is the name of our family canoe. I didn't even know it had a name!  It seems my Grandpa named it that years and years ago. Obviously I never shared my daughter's love of canoes. I did love my bright yellow kayak though.

Saturday, July 16, 2011


I only started drinking plain old water a few years ago. I always thought tap water tasted funny and even Brita filtered water didn't taste right.

Eventually I discovered that I really like some bottled water. And I like it at room temperature.

And then environmentalists got up in arms about all the bottled water people drink. Some places banned the sale of bottled water.

I've tried to drink tap water, but since it tastes odd, I don't drink as much as I'm supposed to. I end up drinking sugary beverages instead. And I really am sensitive to the taste of water. Even some bottled water tastes disgusting to me. While writing this post, I read that Dasani and Aquafina water - both of which I hate the taste of - is actually municipal tap water from a city in my region. I like Nestle water so maybe we just need to move to that community.

Until then, I will drink my bottled water and recycle the bottles. And feel bad for being environmentally unfriendly. But, I'm hydrated, which is what the doctor prescribed.

Friday, July 15, 2011

The tale of the mean mommy

Last night I let the kid stay up a bit late watching a Harry Potter movie. In anticipation of today's release. I didn't let her watch the whole thing.

That's not why she had a temper tantrum.

She had a fit because she wanted to take her book upstairs with her. I wouldn't allow her to because I actually wanted her to sleep - not read. And then there were tears.

She insisted that she wasn't going to sneak read. She was going to read it in the morning when she woke up before us. Cue parental laughter because she very rarely wakes up on her on on weekday mornings. However, just in case today turned out to be an exception, I told her I'd put the book in her room after she fell asleep.

And the hysterics continued. She must think I am an idiot.

Eventually she calmed down. She even explained that I should know that she wasn't going to read because if she was she would have snuck the book upstairs and hid it under her pillow. Funny, that's what I thought she was doing when I stopped her from bringing the book upstairs.

Incidentally, we had to drag her out of bed this morning.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Dream on!

Today the kid started talking to me about our "next cruise". Considering how much I suffered on our first and only cruise I told her that I wasn't planning on going on another cruise in the foreseeable future.

My parents love cruising. So, I suggested to her that she convince Grandma and Grandpa B to take her on a cruise.
Kid: Oh! I already did. Grandma told me that if they won a Disney cruise and they couldn't give it away they'd take me!
 I highly doubt they'll ever win a Disney cruise. And I certainly hope they'd take the kid before giving it away to someone else!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Really Handmade

So, the kid gave us a present yesterday for our anniversary. She emphasized the fact that it was handmade.

Yes, because I thought she bought the two pieces of cardboard stuck together at a store.

She then elaborated that her present was actually handmade. Unlike the cards that her Grandma makes. "She just gets her computer - Silhouette - to cut things out."

I think my daughter has become a craft snob.

Monday, July 11, 2011

A missed marketing opportunity

I loved Universal Studios. We all did. They even had a Simpsons section - complete with a Quik-E-Mart. The only problem was the gift store. It was pretty sparse. Especially when you consider the detail they put in the windows. When you advertise something by saying "It's like chocolate and bacon had a baby in your mouth" you really should sell bacon chocolate bars. But no. They just had t-shirts and the usual stuff you can buy at the mall. Ah well, taking photos was cheaper. :D

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Universal Studios is awesome!

In May, we went to Universal Studios before our cruise. We had a great time. It was very Disney except the rides were better and it was more compact. And, of course, there was the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

We decided to stay at the Hard Rock Hotel. Why? Because it was:
  1. On Universal Property which meant we got to go to the front of the line on all but three rides
  2. The closest hotel to the theme parks
  3. Looked pretty cool
We went to Universal Studios after a swim in the huge pool. Our first destination was Shrek 4D. I was surprised that the pre-show actually scared the kid. She is normally unshakeable. The girl usually has no fear. And then we went on Jaws. This also terrified the kid. I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that she thought they’d bring in a real man-eating shark for an amusement ride when she thought the real movies featured actors actually being eaten by sharks. Although, that didn’t concern her. 

Luckily she got over her “fear” quickly. She ended up loving the kid’s roller coaster so much that we let her ride it over and over and over again. By herself even.

And then we headed over to Islands of Adventure to visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. This area was surprisingly uncrowded. We ended up checking out the shops – Zonko’s, Honeydukes, Owl Post, and Dervish and Banges. We also lined up and watched the Ollivander`s show – twice. It is a short re-enactment of the scene from the first movie where Harry gets his wand but they use an audience member. She really wanted a wand and we hoped she would get picked so that we wouldn’t have to spend hours analyzing the different wands. Alas, she was not chosen so we spent at least an hour wand shopping. And we ate at The Three Broomsticks. Turns out none of us really like Butterbeer or Pumpkin fizz.

We were at Universal for three days. On our second day, kid convinced us to buy her Gryffindor robes. Guess what she is going to be for Halloween? We had her wear them on our last day. We lined up for Ollivander’s show again. She wasn’t chosen but she was told to stay behind after the official show. At this point Mr. Ollivander helped a wand choose her. I think they saw that we paid $99 to buy her a costume and figured it would be easy to sell us another $30 wand. It was.

I guess it isn’t too surprising that the kid keeps telling us that on our next family vacation she wants to go to Universal Studios.

Saturday, July 9, 2011


The kid just finished the fifth Harry Potter book, Order of the Phoenix. Tomorrow she comes home and she can get the Half-Blood Prince.

She told me that she's been practicing her spells all week at the cottage. But, she doesn't have either of her official wands. It's okay thought. She was practicing with a stick. And, just so you know her right hand is her wand hand.

And no, I'm not telling her about the midnight showing of the last movie this week. We'll take her sometime next weekend.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Child care

This past week the kid has been at the cottage with my parents. Next week she'll be at home. While we are at work she'll be in a day camp.

Not an overnight camp.

The 6-year-old thinks that we're sending her to an overnight camp. I have no idea where that idea came from. Well, actually, I do. I asked her if she wanted to join Brownies or Cubs in the fall. So, I'm guessing that she heard, "you're going to go to overnight camp next week!" instead of "Do you want to join Brownies or Cubs? It might mean you get to go camping at some point with your troop."

You can see how easy it is to make a mistake like that. Right?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Look with your eyes!

The kid has been with my parents at the cottage for the last week. We've been talking to her everyday. Today when we called we discovered she was alone at the cottage. The parents were next door. Somehow it came out that she couldn't go next door with them because her shoes were wet. To be more specific, sopping.

I'm not stupid. I sent her up with three sets of shoes. Her runners, water shoes and Crocs. It seems she misplaced one of her Crocs. Then, as we were talking she found it... under the bed.
Mommy: Why didn't you look under the bed?
 Kid: I did!
Mommy: Did you use your eyes or your nose?
Kid: My nose!
Mommy: And that's why you couldn't find it.
See, even when she's away she drives me a little crazy.

Monday, July 4, 2011


This story is more hubby's than mine but, whatever.

He got to stay home for the 4th of July. While he was puttering around he heard a squeak from under the dishwasher. He moved everything and discovered a mouse under there. Damn it. Thought we'd destroyed the vermin when we were on our cruise. Came home to dead mouse in the mousetrap.  But, I digress.

Today, the mouse decided to hide from him but eventually he flushed it in to the open. Where our nice cat grabbed it and ran into the basement with it. He then watched her toss it around and tease it. It played dead. Luckily, hubby is smarter than a mouse. So, he caught it and drowned it. Better than our cat torturing it to death and leaving entrails everywhere.

He felt bad about killing the mouse but I assured him it was okay. After all, it's not like he bought humane traps and then drowned them. Like my mother used to.

Friday, July 1, 2011


Hubby and I were sitting and celebrating our 11th anniversary by watching 30 Rock when we heard a weird noise. There was evil cat standing on the couch gagging.

Yes, she decided to barf behind the couch. At least the other cat hacks up her hairballs where we can find them - and clean them up. Maybe this explains my allergies. Or maybe it was the first time she was sneak vomiting.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

It runs in the family...

Today we decided that the kid has my hair, Grandma's eyes, my nose, Poppa's complexion, her father's face, etc....

Not to be left out the kid, interrupted us to point our, "And I have Mommy's expressions!".

We asked her to elaborate. And she did. "Because I roll my eyes a lot."

It took a few minutes before Hubby stopped laughing.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Reason #532

The kid thinks my sister is pretty great. Her aunt has a dog, an apartment - and best of all - a roommate!

Yup, the kid can't wait until she is grown up and can have a roommate.

I tried to explain that Mommy and Daddy are kind of like her roommates. You know, except that we're the boss of her.

Yeah, she still can't wait to get a real roommate.

Monday, June 27, 2011


Last year we had quite a bit of trouble getting the kid to go to sleep.

So, I drugged her.

Not really, I gave her some water in a shotglass and called it Placebo. And then she went to sleep. Apparently it tasted really gross. Still not sure how that could be. It really was water.

She asked me for a dose of Placebo tonight. I gave it to her. Hopefully it works. She didn't go to sleep until after 10 last night. Despite spending the day at Great Wolf Lodge. Not too surprising that she tried to fake being sick this morning, is it?

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Yes, Mommy.

For the last couple of days, the kid has taken to responding to every one of my commands with

Yes, Mommy

I think it is her way of telling me that I am unreasonable. You know with my orders of "wash your hands", "flush the toilet", "I can hear you playing! I'm not stupid. Go to sleep!"


Friday, June 24, 2011


I sneeze loudly.

How loudly?

Well, when we were on the cruise, I sneezed and people outside the door yelled "Bless you" to me. On more than one occassion.

I also get emails and phone calls from people on the other side of my office when I sneeze.

That's pretty loud, isn't it.

Thursday, June 23, 2011


The kid goes to counseling sometimes to help her understand mental illness in an age appropriate way.

She does arts and crafts and stuff and talks to someone about her worries, etc.. It's a great program. But today I'm wondering how much she needs counseling. Today, she blew up balloons and made worry dolls. She's supposed to tell the worry doll her worries before she goes to sleep. The worry doll will take away her worries. Theoretically.

Apparently her #1 worry at the moment is that we'll throw out her balloons eventually. Really? I don't think the counselor meant to create worries for her. Crazy kid. But at least this means we haven't messed her up too badly.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Worst sneak ever

The kid got sent to bed a bit early today for tween attitude. We thought it was because she was overtired.

I went up to check on her and the smell in her room was unbelievable. Rather than listen to her CD she decided to draw pictures (on paper) under her covers. Using a dry erase marker.

And she wonders why she doesn't get away with anything.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Sneaky monkey

I just caught the kid reading in bed. Way past her bedtime. She obviously wasn't expecting me to come upstairs.

I can't be mad at her though. Why? Because not only is she reading but I used to do it too.

One of my most vivid memories growing up is reading a book past my bedtime. I rarely got caught. That only seemed to happen when my mom took the garbage out and saw that my window was slightly illuminated.

So, I can't get too cranky. Instead I popped in a book on CD for her to listen to. Maybe then she'll fall asleep.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

New car

We picked my new car up at the dealer today.

A few hours later the kid came out with this lovely statement, "let's hope you don't crash this car."

Thanks, kid. And no ice-cream for you!

Friday, June 17, 2011


"Nights are the devil"

That's what the kid has to say after yet another night having trouble sleeping. I think is has more to do with the longer days than night being evil.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I dress for the Kindergarten crowd

As I picked up the kid at school, one of the kindergarten boys ran after me to exclaim, "I really like your style!"

I don't get it. But it seems I was dressed well that day. According to a 5-year-old.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

How do you know?

Kid just asked me how I know that our cats are both girls.

She knows the difference between human girls and human boys. Somehow she never made the connection that the penis/vagina thing is the same for many animals.

And although she wishes Sera and Trinity could have kittens - I am very, very glad they can't.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Ah, the memories

Yesterday the kid had a birthday party at Little Gym. She took lessons there for a couple of years before she decided she wanted to try different activities. We would sometime eat dinner at a bakery/restaurant called Artisano's in the same plaza.

As we drove up to the party she pointed at the places and exclaimed, "Ah, the memories!" It really hasn't been that long!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Sometimes I just don't like shopping...

Especially when it is for a new car.

My beloved car of 10 years is officially a write-off. We have no idea what we are going to get for it but it sounds like it isn't worth fixing. So, we started looking at cars.

I'm pretty confident that we'll end up with a Chevy Cruze. But I was not impressed with the sales guys yesterday. GM is using some sneaky tactics online at the moment. They're advertising Employee Pricing and 0% financing. With a picture of the Cruz front and center. However, the Cruz is not one of the few models featuring 0% financing.It may be legal because they mention that the offer is "on select models." But that is some dirty marketing in my opinion.

 We'll still buy the car. But not from that salesperson.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Darn you strikers!

No, this post has nothing to do with Canada Post's odd strike.

This is all about the 2006-2007 Writers Guild of America strike. Yes, I am a bit behind on the times. But that is just because Hubby and I finally started watching 30 Rock seriously. We borrowed seasons one and two from my sister and have zipped through them in the last week. We're just really sad that season two was so short. It fit on two DVDs. That is just wrong.

But, it is so funny!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

My First Car Accident

My car over the sidewalk. Yes, I spun a bit.
My Friday morning started wonderfully! I had my first car crash. I was in the intersection waiting to make a left when the light changed. A six-lane road. Three lanes going North. Three going South. The cars coming towards me stopped. The light turned red mid-turn. However, another car tried to run the light.

Yeah, that didn't save anybody any time.

But most importantly, nobody was hurt. If there had been a pedestrian crossing it would have been a different story. And yes, people do cross against the light - all the time!

Nobody was charged and my car is at the shop. We're waiting to hear the damage. My car is 10 years old but it is a great car! The last few times I've taken it for an oil, lube and filter - the guys have commented on what great condition it is in. And it passed the clean air test with flying covers in November.

The big takeaway here was that you should always seat belt in your booster chair. Why? Because it flies. Here is a picture of the kid's chair. It normally sits on the left side of the car. You know, where the impact was.

I'm so glad the kid wasn't with me. She's not so pleased. She really wishes she'd been with me. And she got great joy this weekend visiting my car in our garage. The shop couldn't take us until today.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Crazy Conference

Today and tomorrow I'm attending a conference in downtown Toronto. The content is great but there are a few things that have shocked me - as an event planner.
  1. There is one big room. It can be divided in to three rooms. When we arrived it was one room. Then, they put the wall dividers in (during our 15 minute break). We had a session. Then they took the wall dividers back out so we could have lunch. And then the wall dividers went back in again. So weird!
  2. When I went to get lunch at noon there were 4 meals left. It seems most of the other classes let out early. They were all vegetarian meals. Not a risk I want to take at the moment given my digestive issues. However, there was a huge stack of "special" meals at the back. Eventually, when they realized all the meals were gone and there were a lot of people still looking for lunch, they gave out the special meals. Mine was chicken without mushrooms. Interesting since none of the meals had mushrooms in them. I know because I asked.
But, the content has been very impressive. And really, that is the important part. I'm just afraid they're making way more work for themselves than was necessary.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

How long does it take...

How long does it take a 6-year-old to get in to her pjs?

15 minutes and counting...

In the end it took 20 minutes. It turns out she decided to clean her room first. In the nude.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Bad advertising

The kid really enjoys watching Sid the Science Kid.

The one thing she doesn't like is the promotion at the beginning of the episode for Boeing. Their tagline is "Boeing: helping the future of our children take flight."

Hard to see the problem with that, isn't it? Well Little Miss. Literal keeps getting upset about it since they don't actually send kids in to space. So, isn't that a dirty lie? Every time that ad come on she exclaims, "what a terrible ad!"

I think she's just mad that she can't go on a spaceship.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011


So, the other day I ranted about the crazy bicyclists that seem to have a death wish.

Today I noticed someone speeding along in the bike lane. Driving their motorized wheelchair at a pretty speedy clip. If I hadn't been driving I would have tried to take his picture. Alas, I don't have a death wish so I can't show you photographic evidence. All I can think is, wow!

Maybe that is what happens to the bicyclists that are severely injured? They try and finish the job?

Monday, May 30, 2011

I ♥ my Kindle

I never thought electronic books, like the Kindle would work for me. I love to read. Finally, when our bookshelves began overflowing - again - I decided to try one. After some research I settled on the Kindle. The type looks just like a book and the pages flip quickly.

And I love it!

I can still buy books by my favourite authors - and they're cheaper! I have also discovered a plethora of free books! I follow Pixel of Ink on Facebook and they give me a list of free books each day! Very cool.

The only drawback is that you can't borrow library books on the Kindle. But, apparently that will change by the end of the year. We bought hubby one after I fell in love with mine. We can actually read the same book at the same time now - and only pay for one copy of the book!

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Bicycle season

Now that the weather is warmer, the bicyclists are out in force. I have no problem with bicycles. I don't even mind if they drive on the sidewalk. Even though that is technically illegal. What I do have a problem with is that they pick and choose which rules to follow.

Stop sign?
75% of the cyclists I see don't stop at the stop sign. If you're riding on the road you have to follow the rules of the road.

Red light?
Far too frequently I see bicyclists blast through the red light. Apparently the law doesn't apply to them.

I'm also concerned about all the cyclists that drive up in their own make-believe lane while people are stopped. I've seen far too many cyclists almost get hit because somebody tries to make a right hand turn and - oops! Bicyclist appears from behind a line of 10 cars or so.

Safety first, people. Especially when you're the one that is going to get hurt. My rant is over. Don't forget to watch out for bicyclists whenever you're out driving. Especially if you're in my neighborhood. They're crazy!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Excuse #6893.

"I can't remember much. I've got a small head"
The kid's excuse for why she can't remember anything. Like where she put her stuff.

Friday, May 27, 2011

What do they teach at this school?

I was in shock when I looked at the kid's list of spelling words this week.

Word #2 looks a lot like beer to me. I know her penmanship sucks but I couldn't imagine what else it could say. Neither could hubby. Although, I have to admit that we didn't think about it too long before we asked her - "what in the world is this word?" Maybe 30-seconds.

The word is "been". And both parents were relieved. Although the kid is going to be spending a lot of time practicing neat printing.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Future doctor?

It seems the kid really, really needs to work on her penmanship.This little note was written in her agenda this week. What do you think it says?

Apparently it says "Jump rope for heart tomorrow". Guess who is going to be practicing her printing?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Really? And she's 6!

I'm getting more and more worried about what will happen when the kid turns 16. She's already trouble.

Everyday we are supposed to sign her school agenda. It's our way of communicating with the teacher. Today I opened it up to sign - and discovered this...

 Yes. The kid tried to forge my signature. Sadly, it seems she can sign the first half okay. I asked her what it was on Wednesday. She got a sheepish grin and told me she was trying to sign for me. We are going to have to watch her very carefully.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Best. Joke. Ever.

My parents have a Soft Coated Wheaton Terrior. Webster is a sweet, albeit somewhat stupid and untrainable, dog.

The kid as a bit of a love-hate relationship with him. Sometimes she loves him and sometimes she is terrified of him. Mainly because he likes to jump. And lick. And doesn't behave very well so he has a shock collar. But, I digress.

The kid told my mom that she thinks Webster is a "Golden Reacher". Apparently that is the best joke ever because my mom - not my 6-year-old - likes to repeat that one over and over again.

I though my sister would appreciate this post. In honour of her weekend at the lake with the parents. :D

Monday, May 23, 2011

Happy Victoria Day

Is your kid driving you batty? Because mine sure is.

Try and guess who made the following comments - me or her.

"Take your time. Just cut in a straight line"
"Pick up those little pieces of paper you're dropping all over the floor"
"Stop slamming the door"
"I think you forgot something - like lunch."

Yeah, I said the first three. She said the last one. GRRRR. ARGHHH!

Tuesday can't come quickly enough.

Incidentally the lunch comment happened at 12:30 while I was in the kitchen making lunch. WTF?

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Funny movie

My friend and I went to see Bridesmaids on Friday night.

Oh. My. Goodness. That was hilarious. Definetely the same vein as The Hangover. Which I also laughed throughout. A total non-chick, chick movie.

The whole cast was great but Melissa McCarthy (from Mike & Molly and Gilmore Girls) was awesome!

I laughed so hard I snorted. So, it must have been funny! And by the way, I totally want to sneak into Bootcamp now!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Pissed off

Free to any home - good or bad, at this point I'm too ticked to care - one jerky, evil cat that likes to piss on things when you don't do exactly what she wants in the exact timeframe she demands.

Yeah, like there will be any takers.

I've had a terrible headache all week. It seems this is another lovely side effect of my current medication cocktail. Tuesday was a non-functioning day. I slept for almost 30 hours except for the time I stumbled downstairs to collect various painkillers. They didn't work. But I digress. In that 30-seconds, the evil, devil cat demanded to be let outside. In the pouring rain. I didn't let her out and went back to bed.

Hubby came home to a puddle of piss in front of the back door. This is her way of expressing her anger with us at not allowing her to be an outdoor cat. Incidentally, somehow she actually peed INSIDE of the kid's shoes while we were on vacation. So, apparently, she is a talented pisser.

So, yesterday morning she was put outside (with food, water and shelter) when we went to work. I let her back in the house when I got home. She couldn't get in fast enough. Perhaps a few more days like that (although it was a gorgeous day) will cure her pissing?

Friday, May 20, 2011

Vacation is over...

And I've had a week to recover and start to unpack. Thank goodness it is a long weekend because, although the laundry is done - I still have to put it away. And there are still lots of things to unpack. Sigh!

It takes a relatively short time to pack the stuff but unpacking is so much less fun!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Genetic Jeans

Hubby: She's your daughter!
Me: I just gave birth to her. She's got all your genes.
Hubby: Uh, no.
Kid: Woo Hoo! I'm going to wear them on my head like a shirt!"

Genes. Jeans. It is practically the same thing.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Why, no, my husband isn't an idiot

And I'm offended that you thought he was!

I spent almost a whole week in Calgary for work. Hubby and the kid had to fend for themselves. I wasn't worried.

Seriously. It's not that hard to get her ready for school, take her to school (with lunch), pick her up, feed her and put her to bed. Really. She's six. We have tried to raise a reasonably self-reliant child and, I think, for the most part, we have been successful. I was not worried. If I had been I would have asked one of the grandparents to move in for a few days.

Hubby wasn't concerned. I wasn't concerned. The kid wasn't concerned. Heck, neither sets of grandparents were concerned.

However, it turns out that the mother of one of the kid's classmates was concerned. They had a play date the day after I came home. The mom spent a good portion of that time explaining how she had her daughter pack an extra lunch for MY kid each day. Because, you know, my husband would forget to feed her.

Wow! And said with a straight face.

Yes, I will give hubby a hard time. I'm even okay with our family members  teasing him. And good friends. But people I hardly know? Really? My husband is not an idiot. Absentminded, perhaps. But he is one of the best dad's I know. He may forget to replace the toilet paper but he isn't going to forget to feed or clothe the kid. My husband is not an idiot, and I resent the implementation.

Unless we're related or best buds. 

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Filling Cavities

Last night, the kid had her first real filling. Complete with freezing. She had one a couple of years ago but it was really little. At the time the dentist told us it was because of weak enamel. A common issue with premature babies. Or so, he tells me.

This one was more substantial. It needed to be frozen. And, it was also not the result of poor brushing - it seems she has a couple of abnormal teeth which are super susceptible to cavities. The word deformed was used. And they're way in the back. Only one of the two "weird" teeth has a cavity but it is at the back of her mouth. This made it quite fun for the dentist to try and fill.

What should have taken 20 minutes turned into a hour. Why? Because the kid is a drama queen. The dentist, not our regular one, told the kid to raise her hand if she wanted the dentist to stop. I swear the kid's hand was raised the entire time. Eventually, the dentist told her that she HAD to finish so she couldn't keep raising her hand.

And yet, the kid was still given a treasure from the treasure box. Did I mention she even got to watch television during the event? And Mommy was with her the entire time? Life is rough when you're six.

Friday, April 29, 2011

For reals?

While I was in Calgary, the hubby found a mouse in the house. Actually it ran across the stove while he was cooking. Did I mention we have two cats? There is no mouse evidence. We checked the cupboards, etc... no mouse.

Since Hubby was the only one to see it I wondered if the mouse was actually a figment.

On an unrelated note, our dishwasher started leaking - again! We had a problem with the hose in September. It leaked. The repair man thought a mouse had eaten through it. We thought he was nuts.

So, it seems we do have a mouse. A mouse that lives under the dishwasher chewing through the pipe. I have no idea what it eats or where it poops. Seriously, I can't see any evidence of its existence other than our poor, mutilated dishwasher.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Scary Cat

The cute, nice cat has been taking lessons from her scary, evil sister. Sort of. She isn't trying to claw anyone to death but she scared the heck out of me the other night. We were fast asleep and all of a sudden I woke up. To find a fuzzy creature staring at me. Scared the heck out of me! And yes, it was just Sera. I swear she willed me awake so that she could harass me for cuddles.

Is it any wonder that I also woke up sneezing several times.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Note to my family

For Mothers Day I do NOT want a wand.

The Kid is obsessed with Harry Potter and I just know that she is going to try and convince her father to buy me a wand for Mothers Day. However, the Webkinz a few years ago turned out okay so...

But, seriously. One $30 stick of resin masquerading as wood per family. That's my rule.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Barbie is my hero

Well, not really but I am laughing my arse off at this blog Barbie Bitchuates.

Someone is having a lot of fun with their old Barbies. Although I recognize Ken from A Fashion Fairytale so they might be their kids dolls. It's sad that I know what collection the various dolls belong to. Ah, I have a 6-year-old. That should be a valid excuse!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Favourite thing...

Most nights the kid ends up asking us lots of questions. Sometimes they are silly and sometimes they are insightful. The other night she added a twist.

"Mommy, do you have any questions to ask me before I ask you questions?"

I thought about it and then I asked her, "what is your favourite thing in the whole world."

"That's a hard one," she said and thought for a minute. "The whole world! That is my favourite things. I love the earth and the flowers and the dirt and the whole planet."

Not hard to believe that Earth Day was a couple of days ago, is it? She sucks it all up like a sponge. Which is probably a good thing. Until she starts saving garbage to turn into "art".