Saturday, December 29, 2012

One is Enough

We made the decision a few years ago that the Kid would be an only child. I can give you many reasons for that choice:
  • Kids are expensive -if we only have one we can afford to do more stuff like go on vacation.
  • I am a very witchy pregnant lady.
  • Postpartum depression - it sucks and I'm still on the Prozac.
  • Where would I put even more weight?
  • We'd have to move to a bigger house so that we have somewhere to put the baby.
  • Our old crib is unsafe so we tossed it.
  • I like sleeping in.
  • Babies are pretty boring for the first couple of months.
  • Kid doesn't want a sibling.
  • We did pretty well on the first one, which means the second will be evil.
  • What if it is a boy? I don't want to be peed on.
  • Babies cry. A lot.
  • The Kid was premature. The doctor expects that any pregnancies I have will result in a preemie.
  • The huge age difference between the children at this point. There are 8 years between my sister and I. It took a long time for us to be able to relate.
  • The Kid has lots of little toys. That's a choking hazard.
  • We have hard wood floors now. Those are harder than carpet.
  • We enjoy not having baby gates everywhere.
I could go on and on with my "reasons". None of those are the real reason. The real reason is because our family feels right - just the way it is. Not to say that we wouldn't embrace a surprise. Now I just have to convince my husband to have a little "procedure".

Friday, December 28, 2012

The kid is loud and I'm a twit

The kid is talking to her best friend on the phone for I think the fourth time today. And she talks very, very loudly. I figure she must want me to hear what she says and offer commentary.

Or maybe not. But, I kept quiet for the first 3 conversations. And when she told BFF that "I didn't have lunch today!"- despite the piece of pizza she clearly ate around noon and that she denied my offer of additional sustance - I figured all bets were off.

The Kid: We can even talk about You Know Who!

Mommy who is not so much eavesdropping as existing: Voldemort! You're going to talk about Voldemort!

The Kid: *ignores her Mother*

The Kid: Wait, which one is number one and which is number two?

Mommy who is not so much eavesdropping as existing: Pee and poop! Why are you talking about that with BFF!

 The Kid: *ignores her Mother and starts talking more about the boyfriend and her mortal enemy in grade 8 who doesn't know who she is other than that kid that was in the grade 1 class he was lunch monitor of way back in grade 6 and has continued to stalk him for the past 2 years*

At this point I have lost interest and walked away. See, don't feed the trolls or the Mommy.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Quit giving them their 15 minutes of fame

There have been a lot of awful things happening around the world. From the shooting of school children to the shooting of firefighters - it's just horrible. And I think the media is making it even worse by ensuring that everyone knows the name of the monsters that perpetuate these crimes.

I don't want to know that "John Doe" was the person who killed 26 people in a school in Sandy Hook. I don't want to know that "Joe Doe" killed two firefighters in Western New York. And I really don't need to know that "Jay Doe" killed 12 people who were watching a Batman movie on opening night.

Perhaps if we stop plastering their faces all over the news and writing articles analyzing why they did it less of these tragedies would occur. If you're planning on killing yourself anyway, why not immortalize yourself and become infamous by killing a few innocent bystanders too.

Personally, I'm not going to give those idiots the honour of knowing their name. I'd rather focus on the victims. And we don't really do that.

Consider Jeffrey Dahmer. I know what he did but I have no idea who he killed. I do however know that Tammy Lyn Homolka, Leslie Mahaffy and  Kristen French were the victims of the infamous serial killers Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka.

Personally, I think that one of the best ways to punish these psychopaths is to ignore them as individuals. Stop glamorizing them by posting their photos all over the internet, newspapers, magazines and television. They don't deserve it. Instead I am going to focus on Charlotte Bacon, Daniel Barden, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Ana Marquez-Greene, Madeleine Hsu, Dylan Hockley, Catherine Hubbard, Chase Kowalski, Jesse Lewis, James Mattioli, Grace McDonnell, Emilie Parker, Jack Pinto, Noah Pozner, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Aveielle Richman, Benjamin Wheeler, Allison Wyatt, Rachel D'Avino, Dawn Hochspring, Anne Marie Murphy, Lauren Rousseau, Mary Sherlach and Victoria Soto; Lt Michael Chiapperini and Tomasz Kaczowka; Jonathan Blunk, Alexander J. Boik, Jesse Childress, Gordon Cowden, Jessica Ghawi, John Larimer,  Matt McQuinn, Micayla Medek, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Alex Sullivan, lexander C. Teves, and Rebecca Wingo.

It was way too hard to find those names. But it is very easy to find photos and the identity of their murders. That's not right.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

The use of quotation marks

The kid has been reading the Grimm Sister series of books lately. She loves them. I haven't read them yet but I've heard quite a bit about it. Not with any context mind you. That would be crazy!

She started telling me about the Queen of Hearts and how she is the "mayor" of the town. Yes, she made the air quote gesture with her hands.

I asked her if that meant she wasn't actually the mayor. According to the kid she is the actual mayor but since she is a bad mayor you make the little quotes.

I asked if that would be like saying Rob Ford is the "mayor" of Toronto? She looked at me like I had three heads. And I remembered that we don't live in Toronto so it's all good - for us. :D

Friday, December 21, 2012

Low expectations

The kid was admiring my diamond ring yesterday. She wanted to know how much her father had paid for it. My answer? $0. The ring he gave me is platinum. When I was pregnant with the kid I developed an allergy to platinum.

It really does happen. My other allergies also got worse.

But I digress. Now I wear my deceased grandma's engagement ring. And the kid likes it.

I told her she can have it when I die.

"Thanks. Well, I hope you live another 10 years." was her response.

Mine was, "really, another 10 years? Why 10 years?"

She was generous. She then changed it to 11 or even 20.

I guess 46 and 55 are really old according to my eight-year-old.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Delay tactics

The kid doesn't like going to sleep. But she loves waking up. On Tuesday night, I let her stay up crazy late reading. I figured since she didn't have school the next day she could sleep in.

I was wrong.

She woke up at 7 p.m. when her father quietly (and he really was quiet) crept down the stairs to go to work. She turned out her lights at 11 p.m. That is not enough sleep for an eight-year-old. She disagrees. But I know I am right.


Because last night when the lights went out at 8:40 p.m. she started sobbing. Not because of the recent tragic events. She was crying because she felt guilty about waking up so early and now she couldn't read until 9 p.m. That is truly the behaviour of someone who is not overtired and needs some extra sleep.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Thing you don't want to hear...

One of my colleagues had her last day at the organization last week. So, there was cake. There is always cake. We like cake at United Way.

This colleague has a severe allergy to peanuts. And we do all really like her. This part is important.

After we've all said our goodbyes, the cake is presented. It's quite pretty. And what does the person who bought it say?

"I'm pretty sure it is mostly nut free."

Turns out, it was nut free. How do I know? No epipens were required.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

How do you explain the unexplainable?

The mass murder at Sandy Hook Elementary School on Friday has impacted us all. It's hard to believe it happened. I wish it was just a nightmare. But it happened. And now we have to figure out how to make sure our kids not only feel safe but are safe.

We don't watch the news on television. My husband and I read about things online. So, the kid hasn't been exposed to any of the images of Sandy Hook. But she knows about it. Even though she is eight and I'd love her to stay innocent forever - I realize that kids hear things and they talk amongst themselves. And they don't always put 1+1 together and get 2 - they often get 15.

So, on Saturday we went out for a quiet lunch together. The kid was miffed when I wouldn't let her play the games on the place mat because we had to talk. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

Me: "Kid, why do you do lock down drills."

Kid: "In case a bad guy breaks in to the school and tries to hurt us."

Me: "Well, that happened yesterday to an elementary school in the USA. Someone, with a mental illness, broke into a school and killed 20 little kids."

Kid: *gasp* "That's horrid!"

We talked a little bit more about the difference between gun laws in the USA and Canada and the difference in the mental health care system. Honestly, it is still too hard to get good mental health care in Canada and too easy to get a gun but she doesn't need to know that. We are fortunate that she has a working knowledge of mental health disease and realizes that just because a person has a mental health disorder does not make that person violent.

It was a pretty short conversation and she went back to playing tic-tac-toe happily enough.

On Sunday night however, she asked some questions which led me to believe she was more than a little worried about bad guys getting into the school. I reassured her and she seemed to be okay.

And, of course, none of the kids were talking about it. They were all focused on the one-day teacher strike that is scheduled for Wednesday. Never thought I'd be so grateful for a labour dispute.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Boyfriend

The kid decided to put the boy who proclaimed his crush on her out of his misery. Less than 24 hours after his declaration she told him that she also has a crush on him.

And now the kid has a boyfriend.

Her dad is having a rough time with this evidence that his baby is growing up.

I had to tell him that is was okay for her to have a boyfriend at this age. In fact, telling her she can't have a boyfriend will probably cause us more problems. At least that is what I think.

Although they did exchange presents that they bought each other at the school holiday store. Maybe things are moving a little fast?

Or maybe not. After all, they don't even play together at recess most of the time.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Technology makes me weepy

While I was driving to work today I started making a mental list of things I need to do. So, I started thinking about digital cameras. And then I thought about the first digital camera we had at the office. Which made me think of the digital camera by Grandpa had.

He had already been diagnosed with Alzheimer's when he bought the camera. My Grandma let him buy it - this is back when they were $1,000 and wrote on floppy discs - because he really wanted it and she assumed (correctly) that it would be his last major purchase. I don't even know if he ever figured out how to use it.

And then I felt really, really sad because my Grandpa would have loved all the new technology. He would have been all over Social Media like Facebook and Twitter. He was always the first person to embrace new technology. Heck, after he retired he both took and taught computer classes at the local college. He would have also loved tablets like the iPad and he would have been all over the Kindle.

And it makes me sad that he didn't get to play with all these cool toys.

Which makes me sad.

But then I remember that my Grandma is on Facebook and knows about Twitter and wants me to hook her up with a Kindle next time I'm in Texas. And that makes me happy.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Nature vs. Nurture. Nature wins.

I asked the kid to tell me about her day.

It seems the most exciting thing was that a boy told her he has a crush on her. Her response?

"That's good to know."

She decided that he didn't need to know that she has a crush on him too.

The takeaway from this? Girls start playing games at a very young age.